Salmon Cakes

Not reported to the nice young man at the Detroit customs house

It's best to begin at the beginning:
My Mom is Canadian.

Yes, your faithful scribe is, indeed, a partial creation of the great state of Kanuckistan.

More to that point, I was educated for a brief period of time by the educational directorate of the Province of British Colombia during the first grade and to that end, I can say a few useless words in French Canadian. None of these words have done me any good when visiting Montreal.

Anyhow, as I write this I am listening to Natalie Merchant solo albums which, somehow, seems like the Canadian thing to do even though I'm completely sure she is British. Somewhere in a Toronto suburb there is a coffee house playing Tigerlily unironically, no doubt.

So, when my Mom comes to visit our Godzilla toddler she, for reasons that are not clear to me, brings with her many cans of Premium Sockeye Salmon, or Saumon Sockeye if you speak the mother tongue of Jack Kerouac: Franglais. I should go on to point out that my mother's side of the family are a sort of self-hating Franch Canadiens. Her maiden name is Desjarden. French as a Parisian vegetable market. Yet they insist on pronouncing it "Dis-Jar-Den" and, wait for it, they hate the Quebecios in a way that is almost like the low level racism people in the Midwest have for drunken Indians. I digress. 

The point is that I am usually swimming in primo canned wild Salmon. The result is this recipe for an exquisite seafood sandwich much like a crab cake but, you know, one made mostly of crab or in this case salmon. Sub in crab meat and add Old Bay instead of dill and you're on your way to making a damned fine crab cake. 

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Recipe

Salmon Cakes

1 418g (or 14.5 oz.) can of wild red Salmon
1 cup finely crushed Ritz or Saltine crackers
1 small onion, finely minced
1 tiny shallot, finely minced
1 egg (good eggs only please)
2 teaspoons dried Dill
3-4 grinds of black pepper
2 big pinches of Kosher salt

Tartar Sauce

1/2 cup quality mayonnaise
1/4 cup copped dill pickles
3-4 dashes hot sauce

Molson Golden

Begin

Get out your largest mixing bowl, open the can of Salmon and drain most of the liquid then dump it into the bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Mix well making sure to smoosh up the Salmon bones. No, canned Salmon is not boneless or skinless. Taste it for seasoning (this is why I said Good Eggs not the Salmonella bomb cheap eggs in the 18 packs. Also, seriously, good eggs are cheap. Buy them.) and add salt, dill, etc. if lacking. Set aside in the fridge for an hour to allow the flavors to marry. 

Cook

The preferred instrument is a big cast iron pan with a lid that fits. Preheat the skillet on high for 5 minutes and then drop it to medium-ish and add oil to the pan and swish it around. Form the patties (sorry, "cakes") into 4 inch wide by 1 1/2 inch thick rounds and plop them into the pan and cover it for 4-5 minutes. Flip them gently and cook for another 4-5 minutes, covered, on the second side until both look like the photo to the left. 

While they cook mix up the Tartar sauce and fry your potato buns in butter. To serve place the cakes in the buns and top with aforementioned tartar sauce (bonus points for shredded Iceburg lettuce) and serve with potato chips.


A note on substitutions:

The crackers in this recipe can be replaced with an equal amount of crushed Salt and Vinegar potato chips (omit salt from recipe), seasoned bread crumbs, panko, Chicken in a Biscuit crackers or even Potato Buds.

 Secondary considerations:

These patties can be made smaller or into other shapes and cooked then beer battered and deep fried to arrive at any number of unknown temples of bliss or, alternatively, made into patties and then dredged in crushed Salt and Vinegar or regular potato chips or, perhaps, even Pringles. Do so at the risk of your own mortal soul because beyond this point, as they say: "There be Dragons".

"Yo Dawg, you got them Pringles in there?"